Posted by: Zane Maser | January 2, 2010


We took a nap yesterday afternoon. I was feeling emotionally and physically exhausted, still too numb for many “normal” tasks—whatever the heck “normal” is! I have surprised myself at how much I robotically accomplished the past week, such as washing all of Zoe’s various beds, sorting out what we’ll keep and what we’ll let go, and mindless “mundanities” like scrubbing floors and the toilet.

In addition, after we had removed Zoe’s three stair steps to get up onto our bed, we shifted a dresser in the bedroom for a better feng shui flow of energy and a new, freer look. The kids’ old, wooden bench in front of an expansive window in the living room now faces west to east. It forever faced south to north, as even cat kids generally abhor sudden changes! Both moves are significant and liberating re-orientations. Incremental steps toward our new chapter.

The nap was a sleepless bust for me. Chris drifted peacefully off almost immediately, so typical of him! On his part, this reflects his acceptance on a heart level and his effortless ability to let go of outer form that is temporarily a part of his current life, here in the “Boarding School” named Earth, where he has no power to control or alter the natural course of events or the forms they take. He simply allows the process of life to be what it is.

He’s not clinging to the physical Zoe and wanting her back or struggling uselessly with something he can’t change. For him, Zoe is very present and vibrant, but in a different, completely healthy, unbounded state. She’s alive in his heart, along with the pantheon of beloved animals he’s known. It would be untrue to say he doesn’t miss her physical presence deeply, and it is true to say Chris lives pretty much in the present and in tune with the opportunities for work and service that lie ahead.

Being restored from his brief “cat” nap, he turned to me and shared that he had a very strong sense we needed to take Zoe’s remaining well-stocked cache of canned and dry food out to the garage. As Zoe’s appetite became pickier, we had already started to share some of her leftovers with a stray cat, kindly being tended by a neighbor across the street. In the 17 years of living in this home, that cupboard has always housed rows of the best varieties of canned food for our 5 catkins. A part of me was horrified and resistant to his suggestion, but another part agreed.


Seeing the kids’ bare food shelf is devastating. The food was a constant, predictable touchstone. It symbolized my role as the nurturing mother and the caretaking joy with which my devotion poured into our furry kids. It’s yet another stark finality of the empty but now available space.


Related Posts:

• Maternal Watchfulness

• The Paradox of Grief

• Coming to Life

• Life Survives

• Mending

• Readiness

• Returning to Animal Healing

• The World is in our Neighborhood


Text and Photos © by Zane Maser, 2010. All rights of Zane Maser and SunnyCat Astrology reserved worldwide.

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My editorial guru and technological wizard is Chris Maser, my delightful husband.

If you are interested in an astrological consultation and/or a specific question answered by a horary chart, please visit SunnyCat© Astrology.

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